well i still could not sleep

Well I still could not sleep so I decided to go ahead and do the beginning of our story about this pregnancy, here it is:

This is how I felt at the beginning of this pregnancy:

I was over joyed when I found out that I was going to be having another baby. On Christmas eve after we tucked in the kids for the night I noticed that I had some dark brown spotting and told Nick about it, I was really just in shock I don’t think I really knew what to do or to think I just remember being scared of the unknown. Christmas day was a blur NO bleeding but still wondering what had happened. The next night I had a lot of red blood and I again I told nick however this time I expected the worst. I really thought that I was loosing the baby. I just broke down in tears, I did not want this to happen. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I could not understand this. When we were taking things into our own hands and choosing to do things not to have kids we would pregnant. However when we finally took ourselves out of the picture and handed my womb over to God this happens. I just had all these thoughts going through my mind:

“Had we made a mistake letting God take control”

“Did we do something wrong, to deserve this”

“WHY, WHY, WHY”

“Did I hurt this child in some way”

“would God really allow this to happen, when we turned to him”

These thoughts and more just kept going through my head. We called an elder of our church and they had us out for dinner that night. I can remember praying for this child inside me not knowing if there was even one still there. We all took turns praying and then silence fell over the room, it was my turn I literally could not make any words come out of my mouth. My voice would not work. I just remember saying in my head over and over, “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN, LET THIS CUP PASS OVER ME, LET THIS BABY LIVE” I was begging and begging and crying and sobbing.

Over the next week Nick fasted for 7 days just as David had done in the bible until he knew weather his son would live or die. And I could do nothing but beg for the life of this baby, and lay on the couch doing little else at the request of the elders wife who had gone through this many times.

We had already picked out names for the new baby before this had happened, if it was a boy the name was going to be Joha Daniel (Joha being one of king Davids’ valiant warriors) and if it was a girl the name was going to be Abigail Faith. However after much prayer and fasting Nick came to me and said that he really felt as though we needed to change the names. If it was a boy it would be Samuel David (Samuel because he was begged for my his mother and David because he fasted and prayed for his son as well) and if it was a girl we would name her Hannah Faith (Hannah being the one begging for the life of her child)

I bled everyday for another week and a half before my insurance went through and I could go to the doctor. At my first appointment I had a sonogram to see how far along I was and to check the status of this little one. I saw this little peanut shape baby and heard and saw the heart beating and I broke down in tears of joy my baby was ALIVE! Through the tears I just remember thinking that that was the most beautiful little peanut shaped baby in the whole world, and thanked God. I drove home in tears however they were tears of joy now.

In total I bled for three weeks during this pregnancy.

Alittle over a month later the doctor did another sonogram and found that my placenta was covering part of my cervix, a partial placenta pervia and said that that could possibly have caused the bleeding, and that if it did not correct itself I would have to have a C Section at the end of this pregnancy.

It was as though everything was happening wrong with this pregnancy. I had forgotten that when you choose to Gods will you should expect trials. My placenta did move over time.

I will write up the rest of the story when I know the rest of the story!!

I've got butterflies

It is funny how even though this is my fourth time to do this, I still get butterflies before I have a baby.

I am going to write up our whole experience with this pregnancy soon and I will post that.

I have to be at the hospital at 6:45 am today but I can not sleep. Please Pray that this labor goes quickly as I am sure to be tired from lack of sleep.

I will post pics of little Hannah soon.

Until then I will blog at you soon.

when will this stop?

going on 96 hours of contractions, they say it is prodromal labor, I looked this up and can last for weeks before the real deal happens. (it is labor with no dilation) either way i am getting induced on the 18th i will have a baby soon :)

Where I have been the last couple of days

Well Thursday night around 7 I started having contractions they were around 5 mins apart. By 10 they were around 3-4 min apart we went to the hospital around 10:45 and they hooked me up to the machine and checked me they were going in between 2-5 min and i was a tight 2. they told me to get up and walk for about 40 min. we did and they checked me again I was a loose 2 they told me to get up and walk for another 40 min and they were still every 2-4 min. and still a loose 2 but this time it did make me thin out some.

The nurse called my doc and he sent me home.

Even though this is my 4th baby I have been induced with everyone of them up till now and it really blew me away that I could be contracting every 2-4 min. and that they would send me home.

I contracted all day yesterday (Friday) they were around five min apart but were getting stronger then I had one hour that nothing happened and the next hour they were every 1 1/2 min. then they slowed down again to every 5 min. The nurse did say that she did not think that this was false labor just early labor.

But here it is Saturday and I am still uncomfortable and still contracting probably every 5-10 min. I can handle the pain I am just exhausted from the lack of sleep. I am ready to hold my little girl.

I have been praying that either they would stop all together and just let me wait 1 week and 3 days till my induce date or let them come on strong and get this done.

I am excited that I have had this experience and my husband feels more involved but geez lets do it or stop it. lol.

Hopefully I will be posting pics of little Hannah soon!

pics from Whataburger

Here are the pics of the kids sporting the orange for free burgers, we did not end up getting a pic of Nick and I but thats ok.

Free Dinner

So we went to whataburger for dinner because they had a special going on, "if you wore orange you get a free burger"

Well I am all about the free!! So we loaded up and all went I have pics but will have to post them tomorrow :( they are on my phone and the phone is dead so I have to charge it. I am also 2 weeks away from having little Hannah Faith and I am tired so I am going to bed!

Our Weekend

We have been very busy this weekend, yesterday we cleaned alot around here and I redid my home management binder (I post about this later) then we had to leave early for church (we use rent a sanctuary from an existing church so we meet on saturday nights for our church then the whole church normally goes out to eat altogether) because on the last saturdays of june, july and august instead of going out to eat altogether we all go to a nearby park and play and eat there. (This takes the place of our normal church park day normally on a sunday afternoon but it is way to hot right now to meet around 1 and enjoy yourselves, lol) We had to go early so we could help set up and cook the hotdogs at the park.

It was very hot, being even more insulated than normal, but it was so enjoyable. See our church is a family integrated church and the average number of kids in 1 family is around 8. Some have more all the way up to 13 kids and all the way down to newbies with 1 or pregnant now with their 1st. Well at the park one little girl (of course I knew her we all know everyone there) came up to me and asked me to look at her arm cause it hurt. Then another girl came and asked me if I would help put her straw in her juice pouch. This just warmed my heart! Not only because they view me in a mothering role but because this is how I think church should be a large family everyone helping everyone. Everyone looking out for everyone. In fact when we have a baby dedication in our church (and that is pretty often. lol) It is said that the church has a responsibility to help and raise this little one and this is the first church that actually listens and obeys that.

Today we went grocery shopping. Nick went with us, he has for a few months been going with just to help me push the cart and load the van because of how uncomfortable as i am (I am truly blessed to have him as a husband) We then went to the apple store to get the new iphone4 for nick came home and ate then played until dinner. I made tacos tonight and this was the first time Job had had tacos all by himself and he ate for a long time rice and beans and all the taco fixins he was just to cute!

Well I have been having braxton hicks contractions for awhile (a few months) and they are getting stronger and also being more consistant, I go to the doctor tomarrow so pray that they have been doing some good in there lol!

Until tomorrow, good night

-Lisa